


Reality Holiday - Companion Piece and ficlet to High Anxiety/PTSD Jim

by deawrites



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 11:23:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12863454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites
Summary: A companion piece to PTSD Jim and High Anxiety Jim.Harvey takes Jim on a mini-vacation away from Gotham to the sea side.





	Reality Holiday - Companion Piece and ficlet to High Anxiety/PTSD Jim

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [High Anxiety Jim – Companion Piece and ficlet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12694221) by [deawrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites). 



> All mistakes are my own. All comments, criticisms, kudos and suggestions welcome.
> 
> To my wife who is a survivor and my favorite person in the world.

Reality Holiday

Harvey had been wanting to get Jim out of Gotham for months since his boyfriend’s release from Arkham Serenity Hills. Hoping to watch him explore somewhere that wasn’t a reminder of his journey back from his breakdown. To take him some place that wasn’t a constant reminder of the rift between the before and after distinctions of his life. He wanted to see Jim be able to relax a little; smile; and spread his healing wings to test them freely. At first the obstacles had been financial, yet shifted to timing as Harvey’s responsibilities as acting captain didn’t permit him much; if any; time off. When the change came down from upper brass that a new Captain had been chosen to fulfill the roll at GCPD headquarters and brought in from outside of the department, Harvey saw the appointment as a mixed blessing. On the one hand he would no longer be so haggard and overworked, but on the other he was going back to being just another detective on the squad. He had enjoyed his time as captain and hoped that he had done his subordinates proud.

 

Now freed to take some much deserved and required time off, Harvey jumped at the chance to schedule a sea side vacation for Jim and himself. He rented a house on the beach for a song as it was off season; and bundled up meager belongings in the car along with Jim and headed to the Atlantic Ocean. Jim had been conflicted about the situation as he now always was with any change in his daily routine. The unknown made him extremely anxious and his fight or flight instincts kicked into full gear. The fact that he was going on vacation and not to face a firing squad hardly mattered. He fussed, repeated himself in a loop of worry, and by the time they were on the road Jim had nearly exhausted himself from all the questions, ‘ _what if’_ scenarios, and dead that circled ceaselessly within his mind. Harvey was glad when the steady vibration of the car put him to sleep. Harvey drove with one hand on the wheel and the other on Jim’s leg or arm; protective and comforting all in one gesture.

 

Harvey took a deep breath, drawing the cool, salty, breeze into his lungs as he unloaded the car. He had left Jim to wander around the small beach house and orient himself with all the exit, entry ways and hiding places it had. Once they had the bags settled they went grocery shopping in the small market the island boasted, the liquor store, before returning to the property. Harvey elected to take a nap. There was a swinging hammock on the back patio, and bundled in a fisherman’s sweater and blanket, Harvey made use of the accommodations. Jim walked out further towards the water and sat down, wrists between his knees, eyes upon the gray green of the ocean waves. He sighed, pensive and considering his current situation. He knew what Harvey was doing for him, and though he appreciated how the older male would do anything to make him feel better; he wished that he weren’t so high maintenance that Harvey ever had to worry about him at all. It wasn’t fair. Harvey should be enjoying an easy, physically active, romantic relationship. Instead he was shackled by some misguided sense of duty to Jim. Jim, who had barely let Harvey lay a hand on him sexually. Jim, who was so turned inside out from a rape that had occurred nearly two years prior; that he didn’t think he’d ever have penetrative sex again. He wanted too; he wanted to be with Harvey. They had attempted sex on several occasions now and every time Jim had relented at the last minute. Harvey’s heavy and aching cock barely touching his entrance, or sliding in between his ass cheeks before Jim halted. Jim was broken and uncertain as how to fix himself. Harvey deserved so much more than Jim was providing him.

 

Harvey’s sainthood aside, Jim couldn’t understand how his boyfriend hadn’t turned to more than just his hand for company. Jim had given him permission; told him to employ anyone of his prostitutes and get some relief. Yet always Harvey refused, sighting that he was with Jim and right where he wished to be, invitation to wander notwithstanding. While Harvey might think he was being loyal and romantic, every time he told Jim that he wanted no other made Jim feel incredibly guilty that he couldn’t yet make love to Harvey. While he had been able to finger Harvey, he only rarely had been able to withstand the same. As for penetration with his cock, he didn’t think it fair to Harvey to do anything to him that he refused to allow Harvey to do to himself. The entire scenario angered and distressed Jim. While he trusted Harvey with his secrets, his heart and soul, his very life; he couldn’t seem to trust him with breaching his ass. It made Jim feel the fool, and as if Harvey were wasting his life loving and being with him.  Jim was hoping that their min-vacation together would ease his stress a little and put him in a better frame of mind for love making. This was not Gotham; he was not in Arkham Serenity Hills but a sea side rental house and alone with his lover. They were safe, and Jim forced himself to push his shoulders down away from his ears. Arnold Flass was in prison; he didn’t know where Harvey and Jim were; there was no logical way that he could intrude here unless Jim permitted him too within his thoughts. Jim took a deep breath and slowly released it as he watched the gulls walk the surf scavenging for food.

 

When Jim returned from his beach walk an hour later, he went to the patio decking to check on Harvey. The man was swinging with the insistent push of the wind in the hammock, softly snoring. Jim smiled fondly and watched him for long seconds before he reached out with a hand and brushed the hair back from his forehead. Harvey started slightly, hand instantly closing around Jim’s wrist, restraining him. Cautious green eyes opened then softened upon focusing on Jim’s beloved features.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey yourself.” Jim replied as Harvey’s hand slipped from his wrist to lace his fingers with his own. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

“It’s all right.” Harvey grunted shifting slightly. “It’ll take me a few hours to figure out how to get outta this blasted thing anyway.” He grinned. “I’d like to be inside before dark.”

 

Jim chuckled and squeezed Harvey’s hand. “I’d ask you if there were room for two, but it’s better that at least one of us is free to call for help in an emergency.”

 

Harvey pulled Jim’s hand to his lips and brushed gentle kisses across his knuckles. “Well, I think I might just need help. This thing has got a pretty fierce hold.” After a minute or so of struggle, leverage, and laughter Harvey stood upon his own two feet once more and embraced Jim in gratitude. “How do you do it? Smell so damn good even though you’re not wearing after shave?”

 

“I don’t know.” Jim blushed and tightened his embrace. “But it’s cold and you said something in the car earlier about making a fire?”

 

Harvey pulled back, expression quirked in skepticism. “I thought that sort of thing would come natural to a Boy Scout, but if you want me to do it? Sure.”

 

Jim rolled his gaze and gently pushed away from Harvey’s chest with his palms. “Never mind. You’re probably right. It’s better if I start it.”

 

“That’s all I’m sayin’, Jim.” Harvey teased following his lover back into the house. “When it comes to playing with fire, I’m not exactly the best man for the job.” It used to be because he drank excessively and smelled like a distillery. Now he only drank infrequently, with dinner, on social occasions, or after an excruciatingly painful day when it was warranted.  The fire place was in the center of the living room, therefore there was access from all sides to the heat. While Jim familiarized himself with it, Harvey went into the kitchen and made them lunch. By the time they were finished eating their sandwiches, the fire was properly burning, and the living room was at a comfortable temperature. Harvey reclined on the couch with Jim between his legs, laying on his stomach to face Harvey. Harvey stroked Jim’s hair enjoying the feel of it between his fingers while Jim hugged him tightly, nestling his face into his chest.

 

“I want to try again.” Jim stated in the silence of the room.

 

Harvey paused in his caressing and asked, “Try what?”

 

“Sex.” Jim reaffirmed raising his head to lock gazes with the older male. “I think you and I should do it. Tonight.”

 

“Jim,”

 

“I’m ready Harvey.” Jim insisted interrupting any further protest from Harvey. “I know I’ve pulled back all the other times, but tonight? I want it to be different.”

 

Harvey kissed him on the forehead, pressing his lips there for long seconds before locking gazes with Jim’s big, blue-gray eyes. “Jim, I want nothing more than to be with you completely. But you’ve also got to understand, I would rather you tell me no, then hide that you’re not ready because you put pressure on yourself to have sex with me. I think I’ve proved to you that I can wait. I honestly don’t mind,”

 

“Harvey,” Jim snapped instead of enticed. His jaw twitched on the right side. “I know you love me. I know you’re patient and would never hurt me. I just am beginning to feel like even though I’m prepared to have sex with you, that after all this time, you’re not interested anymore. Like, because I made you wait so long that you’re more comfortable not having it than if I ask you too.”

 

“Jesus, Jim.” Harvey scoffed, pain evident in his eyes. “That’s _really_ what you think? That I don’t want you? Baby, all I think about are two things, okay? Number one, loving and protecting you.” Harvey paused counting off upon the fingers of his left hand. “Secondly, being the most awesome sex that you’ve ever had. Being able to take you apart and put you back together again so overwhelmingly that everyone else that’s ever touched you before can’t compare. Okay? So, don’t sit there and think that I don’t want you, or have gotten used to doing without. Because I _haven’t_.” Harvey lowered his hand. “But I’d also rather cut my own dick off then scare you, or force you to do something you aren’t into, or can’t handle yet. Let’s be clear about **that** if we’re clear about _anything_.”

 

Jim smiled tenderly and reached up with hand to brush some of Harvey’s hair back behind his ear. “I love you, Harvey. But I want to make love to you tonight; maybe even have you do the same in return. I’m not pushing. It’s been two years and,”

 

“And you think it’s time so therefore it’s **going** to be regardless?” Harvey challenged taking Jim’s hand in his own. “Jim,”

 

“It’s not like that Harv.” Jim assured tenderly. His gaze bored into Harvey’s. “ _Stop_. I’m ready.”

 

Harvey took a deep breath and nodded. “All right, Junior. You’re ready.”

 

Jim pushed himself forward a little and brushed his lips against Harvey’s. Even though he felt a little bit anxious, he was looking forward to that evening when they retired to the bedroom well after dinner.  For the rest of the day Jim was quite physical with Harvey. He cuddled with him on the couch for a few hours and all they did was talk and occasionally kiss. He brushed up against him and touched him fondly while they made dinner together. During the meal he sat very close and flirted with Harvey, who was a little reserved but flirted in return. In all, Jim was using his seduction to induce interest from himself just as well as Harvey. He wanted to keep his sexual momentum going so by the time they went to bed he was too far gone to care about anything but pushing inside of Harvey and fucking him, only to have the same in return.  He didn’t want to think about what he was doing, just whom he was doing it with and why. He didn’t want worry about triggers or fleeting memories of Flass. He was stronger now and put so much of the brutality of the rape aside over the past two years that he knew he was healthy and no longer weak. Nightmares notwithstanding, he no longer had flash backs while he and Harvey were together. Not really, and he wasn’t about to allow anything to stop him from achieving his goals; Harvey deserved any sacrifice he could ever make and beyond.

 

Determination and action paid off later when the couple was finally naked in bed. Jim lay above Harvey with the older man’s hips canted upward, supported by pillows underneath so that he had a better angle; and they could look at one another with an unobstructed view. Harvey’s knees were bent, locked around Jim’s hips, his heels pushing into the backs of Jim’s legs as he enticed Jim to fuck him harder.  The world had shrunk to just the two of them and their bodies and Jim was able to deliver upon his promises. When it came to his turn, over time he took four of Harvey’s fingers before he was writing and begging for his lover’s cock to be buried deep inside of him. Jim was both flush with passion and coy embarrassment; yet no shame; as he begged and pleaded with Harvey to fuck him. He cried out, arching up into Harvey as his cock reached deep inside of him. Harvey waited a few seconds for Jim’s body to adjust to the intrusion before slowly beginning to move. Harvey was not an average size man by any means, his cock both having girth and length to it that left all of Jim’s previous male lovers mere shadows. Jim relaxed, breathed when Harvey reminded him too, his fingers clenching upon Harvey’s back as he pleaded and rewarded him with groans and pants of pleasure.

 

When it was over, Jim clung to Harvey; refusing to permit him to roll off him. Tears were on his cheeks, yet they were of joy; he told Harvey so and kissed him passionately. He exhaled relentless confessions of love and eventually relaxed around Harvey to allow him to move. “Jim, that was,”

 

“I know.” Jim exhaled stroking back Harvey’s perspiration dampened hair. Their gazes locked, and Harvey made to roll off Jim. “Please? Stay a little longer?”

 

Harvey searched Jim’s wide and affectionate gaze. How could he refuse him? “Sure. If that’s what you want?”

 

“I love your weight on me.” Jim admitted coloring up further at the admission. “I feel safe. I feel whole.”

 

“That’s just because your light headed and can’t breathe.” Harvey teased of his excess pounds. He chuckled softly and kissed Jim’s lips. “But if you like it, who am I to judge?”

 

“Stop it.” Jim mused inhaling easily to prove his disagreement. “I love you.”

 

Harvey pressed his forehead to Jim’s. “I love you too.”

 

They remained entangled together, Jim beneath Harvey for some time. Yet eventually they moved to laying side by side. They kissed and fondled one another, exchanging oral sex and finally cleaned up and went to sleep. That night Jim didn’t dream of Flass and the other two assailants. That night he dreamed of waves and Harvey’s sure, warm, hands. He dreamt of Harvey’s wet, heated mouth and fathomless love for him.  In the morning Jim slept in while Harvey made them breakfast. They ate outside on the patio, bundled in sweaters and wearily eyeing any sea gulls that wandered too close to them. After breakfast, Jim took a run on the beach while Harvey read by the fire. They both showered together upon Jim’s return and ended up cuddling upon the couch while Harvey read to them both. Jim dozed, and they had sex before wandering out into the island town for lunch. To further perpetuate their cocoon of insular existence, they avoided any news feeds on their phones, or the televisions in the bar and grill they ate at. For now, they only had eyes for one another and their intimacy brought them a few smiles from local people and a few warning stares as well. All of them went ignored and they walked back to the beach house hand in hand. They watched a couple of old movies on DVD and napped before dinner, which they ate by candle light in the dining room. After washing and putting the dishes away they made use of the hot tub and went to bed, where they had impassioned sex prior to falling asleep. Both men were encouraged that their relationship had taken a significant step forward and while they were thankful each of them remained a bit cautiously optimistic that there wouldn’t be any fall out from Jim’s mental diagnosis. Thus far, they remained unscathed and Jim didn’t suffer any flashbacks or nightmares.  By the time their mini-vacation came to an end Jim was freely expressing himself sexually.

 

Jim dozed on the drive back to Gotham and Harvey looked over at him and smiled. He was beautiful, and Harvey loved to stare at him and could do so for hours. How he had gotten so fortunate to have a man so emotionally strong and attractive, Harvey didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to tempt fate by questioning the gift. He reached out and placed a hand upon Jim’s leg, stroking upwards a little before stopping and withdrawing his hand and placing it back on the steering wheel. Jim had overcome emotionally devastating obstacles to reach where he was in his life and Harvey was proud of him; proud to have been a part of his healing and a reason for Jim to fight to survive everything life had thrown at him. When they reached Gotham, Harvey would have to figure out when the best time to tell Jim that one of the assailants had been paroled from Blackgate due to over crowding conditions, yet tell him he would. Harvey didn’t know what part Glenn Steward had played over all in Jim’s rape and battery, but he had red flagged all three participants to receive texts or calls from a C.O. at Blackgate should their incarceration status should change. Glenn was out and while Harvey doubted he would hunt Jim down to harm him further, he wasn’t about to take any chances with Jim’s life.  For now, Jim was safe, and Harvey allowed him to continue to bask in the healing that their mini-vacation had brought them.  News of Glenn Steward could wait, just as assuredly as the depressing grip of Gotham could as well. Jim was at peace and Harvey was happy.


End file.
